Happiness is sometimes a warm puppy

If happiness is a warm puppy, then I should be six times happier than usual today, but, I'm not.  Every day I wake up and usually I dread the day ahead of me.  I dread the mundane, boring, lonely days especially during my kidless weekends.  No gumption.  Can't get myself to do anything to make myself a better person; exercise, eat right, stop drinking a mountain of sugar daily, get a job where I actually have to talk to other people, etc.  Forcing myself into doing things doesn't always work.  I just X off the days on the calendar one by one, as if I'm in my own personal jail cell.  But how long is my sentence?  No idea...