Why am I still awake?

It's been one of those nights.  Good intentions of keeping the boys on schedule with bedtime, but without success.  I did remember to have Paul read in his own bed tonight.  I read a magazine while he putzed with his book and eating Special K.  "Maybe if I lay here for awhile he'll actually fall asleep in his own bed."  But, yes, the needy beagles had to come scratching at the door to find their mommy!  Try it with the dogs.  OK.  We all fell asleep.  Try to leave the room without him waking.  As I lay there in his bed it is all too familiar.  Deja vu.  I was in this place three years ago trying to get Paul to sleep in a bed by himself.  He even fell back in his habit of gently touching my eyelashes as he fell asleep.  I guess 10-1/2-year-old habits for a sensory-seeking boy are hard to break.  It made me feel content, just like when he was a tiny baby.  Forcing myself out of a cozy, warm bed, I escaped very quietly.  However, turning the darn door knob did it.  Up pops Paul.  "I'm going upstairs.  Just lay down and try again."  Nope.  He exited the room as fast as possible and crawled in with Nick, yet again.  What will be the miracle of all miracles to get the kid to feel comfortable sleeping by himself???  Who knows.  Nick will move out in six years and Paul will be back sleeping with me again.  Cripes.